November 14th 2012

Dear readers, 
        To start off today I prayed to the Lord to get me through it. I mean every day I prayed but today I just really prayed to him considering everything that has been happening at school so far. I think he heard my prayer but it's one of those times where you just have to work things out on your own. Anyway I went to the bus stop and I didn't have to wait long until the bus got there. Although I got there like 15 minutes after it was suppose to get there. That shows how late she is every morning. Anyway on the bus I sat by Daphnee except she was sick this morning so I hope I don't catch her flu. We didn't talk much today, but then when I got to school it was actually quite good to start off with. I hung with a huge group of my friends in the entry way of the building and our dean was standing there just looking at us like wow. My friend Samual and I were doing some kind of secret handshake thing and then my friend Devon and I started jumping around doing the gangnam style. 2 people came up with cameras and were filming us doing it. This guy Tyler was trying to teach me the redneck shuffle ( don't ask me what that is) and got out of breath. He told me I am the only person he knows that can make him tired lol. Anyway the bell rang which was very disappointing and so I had to go to English and work on my essay thing. Finally after what seemed to be 24 hours the bell rang. I ended up seeing my ex, Sam, in the halllway for once walking alone. I decided I was going to walk up to him and start a conversation. I was nice ok? Seriously I try to be nice to him even for what he did to me but no he was just a sarcastic jerk face to me so I gave up talking and walked away. I saw my friend Sharyl in the hallway and ended up complaining to her about it and she said yeah he was being a jerk to her to and she is sick of him. Anyway I finally got to class and surprisingly wasn't late to it. In Botany we just watched a video and for once had to take notes during it. I got lost halfway through it though because I kept daydreaming about other things. Third hour nothing interesting happened then in rocket academy the guys in there for once didn't mess with me. I had to give relationship advice though. And this guy hired me to beat the crap out of his ex girlfriend just because she was staring at him. I was like seriously if Imma get suspended it better be for a good enough reason. After class I kept searching for Melody but I didn't see her as usual. 5th hour nothing interesting happened then at lunch I sat by a different group of people. I couldn't take sitting by Will again I was still mad after the stuff he told me yesterday. Anyway in Biology we had to take a test which I felt was extremely easy but maybe thats because I actually am trying my hardest in that class. Anway I got a pass to go talk to this one teacher, I was worried because I didn't know if I was in trouble for something or not. But she ended up just talking to me about my act scores for the practice exam and what I need to work on. After class I found my friend Alex and we were messin around in the hallways being loud as always ha,ha. But then things started to change in my 7th hour algebra. Apparently at the same time stuff was happening in my math class Daphnee was having problems of her own. Anyway we had to go into the computer lab and work on more practice act stuff. I had no partner because pretty much nobody likes me in that class and so I felt like such a loner. I apparently have terrible luck with technology as well because yesterday this one computer i was using the screen was super dark, and today this other computer's screen was a dark red and I went to a different computer and that one wasn't working either. I thought wow I just shouldn't even do this assignment lol. I was sitting there when this girl Sarah (who I thought was somewhat my friend) came up to me and just started talking all this smack talk. She goes back to her seat and the entire time I kept hearing her and 4 other people chatting away about me. It made me so mad that I got up and said say it again seriously tell me this to my face! And she got up walked over to me and was yelling a bunch of random crap and ended up slapping me in the face. I pushed her back and was about to go nuts and let off on her but God gave me the strength not to and I just walked out of the class and went to the restroom to cry for awhile... Then after a bit I went into my parenting class. And of course that didn't help either because the teacher started taking about child abuse and stuff and that made memories come up and I got even more upset. Anyway after school on the bus I sat by Alex and we were having a drawing war coloring on each other lol. When I got home I was expecting my dad but he wasn't there yet and I was just super tired and stressed out so I went to bed for awhile. Of course my original goal was to start reading the chapters in the Scarlet Letter I was suppose to read I decided to put it off for a little later. dear kids that is the definition for procrastination lol.  After wards when I woke up it was about time to go but dad wasn't home yet. I started to get a bit worried but after a while longer he showed up. We were then off to youth group and the whole way in the car I was still feeling down and sad. I hoped when we got there I would be happy and stuff but of course my mind was still thinking about earlier. I hate being a woman sometimes we tend to get very emotional at times. Anyway I was happy I got to see Brett but at first it didn't feel the same. I guess because I was still thinking too much at the time that seeing him made me happier but I just felt awkward being there. I don't know exactly how to word it. Anyway we did worship time and the entire time singing I just fell apart and burst into tears. When they turned on the lights though I hurried and whiped them up so nobody else would see I was crying and ask why. Anyway soon it was time to go with our small groups. Ours for today was headed off to Culvers for their yummy custard. When we got there we prayed and talked about things we wanted to be prayed for. Melody wanted us to say things we were thankful for and they wanted me to go first. At that moment yet again I burst into tears crying saying I am so thankful there is a God I am thankful for Jesus I am thankful that I know when I die I'll go to heaven no matter what sins I made... It felt so good to let it out that after that I started feeling better. Anyway we got back to the church and I talked to Brett before I had to go and I was smiling more with him :). Then I went to my dad's car and aletha gave me a letter from my uncle. I read it and cried.. he was putting me on the guilt trip and I was falling for it. When I got home I went on facebook to talk to Brett again because I knew talking to him I would feel better. And of course it worked and now I feel much better but I am wide awake from taking a nap earlier lol. So goodnight to everyone else <3